I am a coach, trainer, and facilitator at heart. I’m also an optimist…and love to encourage “change” and improvement in people for the better. For their betterment, for the world’s betterment. In the past year or so I’ve been noticing an interesting “social” dynamic between the different generations
( Millennial, GenY, GenX, Boomers, Traditionalist). We all have things in common and sometimes even talk the same language…although I’m still trying to learn Twitter Speak. But, technology advances seem to have become both “the good news” and “the bad news”. Here’s why. For those who were raised on computers…there is no fear, no caution, no apprehension to try new applications, etc. You were conditioned to explore, ask questions, try things out, and yes, even fail. You were encouraged to take chances, take a risk, and the worst that could happen…wouldn’t necessarily be that bad. But for those who were raised on an calculator/slide rule or something similar, there’s a great deal of fear, of timidness, of exhaustion, of being overwhelmed with all the terms and technology. This generation was taught to do it right the first time, don’t make mistakes, and don’t look stupid. Wow, what a difference in how we were treated and the expectations that were placed on us. I’ve also noticed that more and more we seem to be talking about “reverse mentoring”. At first, when I heard the term, I thought, great….this will really help the job seekers that are not as proficient in technology…or perhaps they’ve never attempted to use Social Media….but, what I’ve witnessed is far from the goal of bridging the technology gap between generations. Don’t get me wrong, I do believe there are people out there that truly desire to help, mentor, coach, etc. but, for the most part I’m seeing a widening split…a chasm of sorts between the generations which concerns me.
I know that when you’re growing up in Junior High, High School, College, you think your parents are old, they aren’t with it, or up with the times….at least I did for awhile….Then, it starts to turn…about half way through college, they become GREAT, where have they been? …They’re actually fun, you go out together, and pretty soon, you start to treat them like friends…even though they make it very clear that they are still your parents, and they will have the final word. But, my point is that this change of acceptance, of treating each other as equals, of respect, came over me, after I realized just how lucky I was. They no longer were trying to sabotage me, or be “mean” to me….they were trying to guide, direct, and shape me into a functional human being, that could and would contribute great things to our community.
So, what does this have to do with reverse mentoring? Here’s what I know, remember Eliza Doolittle…My Fair Lady? She was a mere country flower girl, an ugly duckling of sorts, that was transformed into an heiress….a real Swan. What was the key in her transformation? Sure, she was tutored a bit, changed her clothes, and her accent was controlled…but, how she was treated and the belief of Henry Higgins was the critical element. How he treated her and the belief that he had that she could change and he could pass her off as an heiress was the tipping point. (Yes, he did have a bet going on with his friend…but, that’s not the point). This belief and how she was treated led to her transformation. This belief instilled confidence in her. She believed that she could change, could learn, could become whatever she wanted to become. I know this was a movie…but, I think we can learn a great deal from the Pygmalion Effect and apply it to our generational splits and how we can “learn” from each other.
I’m all for people of like minds, and skills, getting together to share their talents, etc. But, I’m also for mixing it up a bit, and letting diversity happen. Reverse mentoring is about teaching each other what we know. It allows us to learn from both the younger generation and the older generation….but, we’ve got to set the conditions for this to happen…and start creating venues for mixing it up.
I was at a brown bag meeting the other day with my husband. The speaker was interesting…however, I noticed a few things: Everyone there had their laptops open and were working during the presentation. The speaker, although interesting, was difficult to hear…so, those at the back of the room seemed restless and their attention span started to wane. The ability to mix and mingle with each other was difficult, since the tables were not set for this interaction, and people were not encouraged to share their stories. Wow, did we miss out on meeting some talented people…just because it wasn’t seen as an opportunity to explore each others gifts.
We all come with gifts to give. Don’t count the older generation out. This is the generation that never wanted to grow old. They want to learn, to educate themselves, to fit in….heck they are always dying their hair, buying the latest cars, keeping plastic surgeons in business, and trying desperately to stay fit! What they need is “BELIEF” in their ability to learn this new technology. Sure, they are a little fearful, it’s new stuff….they were raised on the IBM punch card for God’s sake!…But, with a little bit of Pygmalion, belief from the younger generation, who were raised on Apple Computers, ….I know we can bridge the chasm, the split.
What will it take? Let’s start with respect and how we treat each other. Each one of us, regardless of which generation we came from can share our knowledge, skills, experiences, and talents. We need to show respect for each others gifts, and encourage one another to participate, to feel comfortable in sharing. The older generation…anyone over 40 can still teach the younger generation a few things. Their experience with effective communication, teamwork, salesmanship, and presenting ideas so others want to listen, and are moved to act is a start. And for the younger generation, we need you to teach us how to navigate in this new world of technology.
What I’d like to see is more Collaboration between generations, more tit for tat, more opportunities to share each others knowledge and learn from each other without feeling uncomfortable, or stupid. You see, fear always gets in the way, fear raises its ugly head and stops us from moving forward, from reaching out, from becoming Mentors. Fear puts up the walls, and makes us think that “we vs. they” is the norm…so, don’t fight it. I disagree, I think “us” is the way to go….US means all of us. Let’s apply the Pygmalion Effect , let’s start turning Ugly Ducklings into Swans, and believe that each of us has the potential, ability, and will to change, to learn new skills, to create a better community, and to enjoy each other s ARt! Come on people…let’s get together!!! Remember…how we’re treated makes a BIG difference.
